So today I wanted to talk to you all about confidence, as I feel this is a topic many of us can relate to. Recently, I have noticed a pattern of self-doubt and comparison, especially (but not limited to) young woman. Certain celebrities and YouTube personalities are often deemed as “goals,” and Victoria’s Secret models have become idolized for their long legs, toned abs, and beautiful flowing hair. Certain activities, clothing items, and schools are considered “cooler” or “more impressive” than others, and it seems that in the process of trying to please others, we often sacrificed our own goals. I know that I have struggled with confidence in the past, and I would be lying if I said that I am 100% over that phase; However, I no longer look at my failures as something to be ashamed of, I now look at my failures as things to improve upon. And while I wrote a similar post about confidence during the summer, I felt another one was needed. It seems that now more than ever- is is becoming harder and harder to feel accomplished, to feel beautiful, and to feel accepted- which is something that needs to change. As cliche as it sounds- life it too short to be anything but happy, and self-doubt never leads to anything positive. So, without further ado, lets get into it… my top tips for feeling more confident!
Tip # 1-
Remember: You are Your Worst Critic- This is probably one of the most important things to keep in mind, because it really is true! A lot of times, the things that we see as major flaws about ourselves are things that other people don’t even notice! And when I say this, I don’t mean that other people don’t pay attention to you, but oftentimes we see more negativity in ourselves than we do in others. For many of us- a bad hair day, a bad grade, or a negative comment can easily ruin our day and shoot down our confidence. However, while you may be thinking: “Wow, I look so ugly today;” someone else is thinking: “That girl is gorgeous!” While you are thinking: “I’m so stupid, how did I not get into my dream school?” Someone else is thinking: “That school is missing out because she is super talented!” And for every one person who insults you, there are at least ten people who will immediately back you up. Which leads me to my next tip…
Tip # 2-
Know not Everyone Will Like You- For many of us- especially myself, this is a hard pill to swallow. I’m the type of person who likes to spread positivity, and tries to get along with everyone- so when someone dislikes me, I often take it to heart. However, I’ve learned that doing that is absolutely ridiculous because it’s impossible to please everyone. It doesn’t matter how nice you are, how hard you work, or how little you complain- there will always be someone who can find something negative to say about you. However, the trick is to not let insults get in your head, because chances are: that person is either jealous, or simply doesn’t understand where you’re coming from- so take everything with a grain of salt. Also, the sooner you stop trying to please everyone else, the sooner you will be able to focus on your own happiness, without worrying about what other people think.
Tip # 3
Be Yourself- This is another suuuupppeeerrr important one. If you aren’t being yourself, it is extremely hard to feel confident, and I’d argue it’s nearly impossible. For me, confidence comes from doing what I love, trusting my instincts, and being around people who make me feel good. In the past, I would avoid doing, wearing, or saying certain things because I feared judgment- which just doesn’t make sense. Growing up I was rather shy and it wasn’t until the end of high school and beginning of college that I realized how silly I had been acting… not fully being myself didn’t make me happy, and while I am in no way saying I had a bad childhood- I’m sure a lot of opportunities were missed because of my shyness. In order to move forward, I decided to push myself to do things even if they scared me… like starting this blog, like changing my major, like being more open about my feelings… and of course I still have my insecurities- but so does everyone! Being confident is not being fearless- being confident is not letting your fears get in the way of your dreams… it may not be easy at first but trust me- it’s worth it!
Compliment Someone- This is probably one of the easiest tips, but it is also one of the most helpful (in my opinion at least)! Whenever I am out, I make an effort to pay a compliment to at least one person. Trust me, doing this will not only brighten their day, but it will also brighten your day as well. Even if it is just commenting on someone’s outfit, or telling someone they are really pretty- it truly does make a difference- and people will remember you for that.
Smile- This is another simple tip, but it’s another one that really does work! I know I feel most confident when I am in a good mood, so if your ever feeling down- just smile, even if it feels fake at first, most of the time it will turn into something real… Do it in the mirror if you have to… test out a couple of different faces, wink at yourself, do your best Elvis impersonation- whatever works! And if all else fails- watch some funny YouTube videos, or your favorite TV show… I know that Impractical Jokers has me is stitches nearly every time!
Tip # 6
Get Active/Eat Healthy- In the words of Elle Woods- “exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy.” By now, I’m sure we are all aware that exercise and eating right are both important elements for staying healthy and living a long life- however, they are also great tools for boosting your confidence! Not only will you get into better physical shape, but your moods along with your energy levels will improve as well! And when I say get active I don’t mean you have to kill yourself at the gym… just make an effort to move around more. Play just dance, go for a hike, play basketball- whatever works for you! The same thing goes for eating healthy… don’t give up your favorite foods- just healthify them. Add some extra veggies to your meals, use simple ingredients, and of course treat yourself. If you still need some inspiration I recommend checking out Pinterest- as I know they have tons of great recipes that will get you drooling in no time!
Stop Comparing- The easiest way to kill your confidence is to compare yourself to every beautiful, talented, and intelligent person you come across. I know that not comparing is easier said than done; however, the body you were born into is who you are- and that will never change. So instead of wishing you were someone else, focus on being the best version of yourself you can be! Do whatever makes you happy, wear whatever makes you happy, and love who you are! Look at other girls as your allies- not as your competition, and life will get a lot less complicated. Confidence is not thinking you are above everyone else- confidence is knowing that someone else may be stronger, smarter, or prettier and still being able to see yourself in a positive light. Confidence is knowing you may fail at something but doing it anyways, because confidence doesn’t come from other people’s validation- it comes from within.
And that’s my last tip for being confident! I know this was another long post, but hopefully it was a helpful one! Being confident is definitely a process, but the most important thing to remember is to keep going! Push past negative feedback, and don’t let fear stop you from achieving your dreams. Only you know what is going to bring you happiness- so trust your instincts! Also, try to compliment yourself as much as possible because if you tell yourself something enough times, you will start to believe it.
Also, let me know in the comments:
What tips did you find most useful?
What else makes you feel confident?
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